Top-Secret 👻 Menu

HOW DID YOU FIND THIS?! ALRIGHT, FINE - LOOK AROUND, but NO TOUCHY!

Epic Audio Recordings

Featured

Arnold Schwarzenegger speaks with MSP Consultant (Solicitor)

Everyone wants to sell their business service or product; MSP consultants are no different. Do you think they'd understand how powerful telephony systems can stop noisemakers like them in their tracks…

Health Insurance Telemarketer call transfer to Arnold Schwarzenegger

Our computer repair shop gets calls from telemarketers all the time. So to make it less annoying; we created a virtual extension on our VoIP PBX system with a pre-recorded message in Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice. When a call comes in from a solicitor - or tech's transfer the call to extension 666, and this is the result.

Voicemail from Russian Customer from the Movie Taken

Our computer repair shop forgot to inform customers that we would be closed on Monday for the holiday (Memorial Day). Apparently, one of the techs said his computer would be ready to pick up, but he called to find we were closed. Not exactly sure, but I think he may have been smoking a cigar and polishing his .357 when he left this voicemail...

Credit Merchant Telemarketer call transfer to Arnold Schwarzenegger

Listen to more on SoundCloud

Did you know Pinellas Computers has a public SoundCloud account, and periodically publishes secret audio content there without warning? WTF - Don’t tell anyone!

Thrilling Video Clips

Featured

Arnold Schwarzenegger speaks with Spam Call (Solicitor)

We don’t just “handle” spam phone calls… US Marshall John Krueger ERASES them!

REJECTED: Trolls attempt to pay $1,200 invoice in Pennies!

Following internal efforts to handle a large commercial services payment dispute, a settlement was reached in court, and this client was ordered to pay for services rendered within 30 days. As a professional courtesy (although undeserved) we did not assess any attorneys fees or interest to be paid.

This, however, did not stop the staff member from going to great lengths to "get one over" on our business. They brought in the entirety of their invoice outstanding ($1,271.95) in pennies, and demanded we provide receipt of payment. Well then, let's see how we handle that...

“Buenos Noches Rap" (I Got No Time) w/ Dirty Heads - Janus Live, St. Pete FL [VENUE EDITED]

10/12/11 at Jannus Live in Downtown St.Pete, FL. The Dirty Heads were performing with Gym Class Heros. They called for someone to come on stage and rap the Buenos Noches verse from the song "I Got No Time For Yall". Last time, no one from St.Pete could do it (I wasn't there) and this time 2 different people went up and messed it up in the first few lines. So, I was our final hope...

2014 Yelp Interview

Filmed for sponsored placement; promo video provided.

Awesome Photo Snips

Featured

Connie's Computer Complaint

Connie Constance was a customer who was constantly cursing the cursed computers. She claimed that her computer kept crashing causing chaos and confusion in her work. She exclaimed, "Computers are a cruel contraption, capable of causing more chaos and confusion than a clucking chicken in a cornfield!" Connie was convinced that computers were cursed, and that she was cursed with them. She couldn't cope with the constant clicking, clacking, and clunking of her computer, and she considered converting to a more conventional career as a clown, but concluded that clowns could also be cursed and decided to stick to complaining about computers.

The Forgotten

Not entirely… We did make this hidden page as homage.

Featured

Anthony M

Josh B

Stuart B

Jofie O

Jacob R

Aaron H

Jamell P

Colton A

Dalton S

Dylan M

Nick H

Preston M

Brendan W